Every woman that I coach has different life experiences, different ambitions and different challenges. Yet so many of us face the same mindset barriers and fears when it comes to getting the things that we want and living a life that feels good. It can feel lonely when battling the brain weasels of imposter syndrome and uncertainty, so this week I wanted to reassure you that you are not alone.

What are the common issues I talk about with the business owners that I coach? In no particular order, these are areas where almost every female business owner I have spoken to struggles:

Lack of confidence

Fear of failure

Fear of judgement

Not knowing if I’m doing the “right” thing

Not knowing how to look after myself and take time to rest or enjoy life

Not knowing what I enjoy or what I might enjoy if I had time away from work and parenting/household duties

Finding it hard to picture myself having the success that I dream of

Feeling overwhelmed by the amount of tasks and projects I am juggling

Feeling guilty if I am not working a standard 9-5 pattern

Wondering how to “put myself out there”

These concerns all come from a belief that there is a “right” way to live, and we are not adhering to it. Somewhere out there is a template, a blueprint for how women should be living and working, and despite it being imaginary we are all very sure we know what it says. We also seem very sure that not following that template is bad and wrong – or even worse “naughty” – and at some point someone unspecified is going to turn up and punish us for it.

The truth is that we are all adults who are in control of our own lives and choices, and we can choose to live however brings us joy and comfort. Easy to type, not so easy to believe. That is where coaching comes in.

What do I work on with the women that I coach, in 1:1 or group settings? Some of the themes we work on are:

Understanding that we are the only ones who get to decide what is right, what is desirable and what is successful.

Finding out who we are, away from the to do lists and the social obligations and the family relationships. Finding out what we enjoy and how we would like our lives to look and feel.

Discovering how to build a life that meets our needs, brings us joy and makes it possible for us to reach our goals.

Understanding how to be organised and productive in a way that works with who we are, rather than trying to turn us into different people.

Figuring out ways in which we can grow our businesses, because we deserve to.

It is time for us all to move past the overwhelming “shoulds” and feelings of guilt & obligation, and move towards a way of life that is enjoyable, exciting, joyful and fulfilling. If you are ready to take that step, email helen@clear-day.co.uk so we can discuss how Clear Ahead coaching can get you there.

Helen Calvert
September 2021