I got so excited when I saw this post on Instagram this morning from @ourchronicillnesstribe. The post is aimed at people navigating chronic illness, but it really spoke to my experience of autism and autistic burnout.

First off, these are the images from the post:

As I say, I got very excited and immediately listed out how this battery analogy applies to me. I’d like to share that with you, partly because the central experience of autism is being misunderstood, so anything that helps the world to understand me is gold. But also because I’d love for you to think about your own battery power, and how this all applies to you.

So here is my explanation of my 3 batteries…

Battery C

This battery is for staying alive. staying alive. I was running solely on that battery during my recent bouts of flu and pneumonia. Battery C has enough power (just) for

🔋laundry
🔋dishes
🔋cooking

🔋basic communication with my children
🔋ad hoc food shopping

It is charged up by walking the dog, sleep and binge-watching TV.

Battery B

This battery is for reaching outside of my house. This is the battery I’m using at the moment, whilst in autistic burnout as I have been since October, but it doesn’t have much juice. Battery B has power for

🔋simple life admin, e.g. booking appointments online
🔋more in depth communication with my children
🔋working with clients

🔋simple work admin
🔋social media posts
🔋basic communication with my parents

🔋basic communication with safe people*, e.g. sending memes
🔋basic school admin
🔋wearing smart clothes

🔋planned food shopping
🔋going to the gym
🔋enjoying music and dancing

🔋cooking for pleasure
🔋libido

It is charged up by the knowledge that money is coming into my bank account, plus it is always charged up by coffee.

* I don’t use the word “friends” anymore, if you are in my Facebook group you can find out why here.

Battery A

This battery is for showing up effectively in the world and gaining value. I haven’t had access to this battery since autistic burnout started. Battery A has power for

🔋in depth communication with my parents
🔋long term planning
🔋business ideas

🔋advising and supporting non-clients; the emotional needs of non-clients
🔋recording podcasts*
🔋complicated work admin, e.g. making decisions, explaining why I’ve done something, managing complaints, changing plans

🔋explaining how I’m feeling and why, to someone who can question me (explaining this in a video or post that doesn’t invite 1:1 discussion is easier)
🔋managing conflict
🔋socialising in person

🔋complicated school admin
🔋showing an interest in world events

It is charged up by sunshine, warmth, massage & touch, restaurant & cafe food, praise & recognition, disposable income / financial security.

* I am still recording podcasts but I am being very mindful of the energy they take. Season 5 of The No Bullsh*t Guide To A Happier Life starts on 11 February 2025.

What I never have battery for

🪣small talk
🪣interacting with the healthcare system
🪣interacting with the majority of men*

🪣bureaucracy
🪣defending my political viewpoints
🪣being criticised for who I am

🪣listening to my kids monologuing
🪣being patronised or treated like an idiot
🪣being misunderstood

* I know this to be true so I have included it, but I need to examine why that is. My initial thought is that men tend to be more questioning and confrontational, which obviously triggers other things I have listed above. But clearly this is a wider discussion for another time.

Obviously there are things that end up happening that I don’t have the power for, so that further drains me and affects my ability to charge whichever battery I’m on.

So how about you?

Your batteries and observations will be completely different to mine, but I feel as though sharing these things with each other could lead to so much more understanding between us all. If you feel as though sharing your version of the lists above would be helpful, I would very much like to see them. You can get in touch with me at helen@happier-life.co.uk

The world we live in

My final thoughts are that a couple of people I shared this with said that their Battery A is rarely full, and I doubt very much that anyone’s is right now, because of how hard times are – economically, politically, socially and from a health point of view, as well as it currently being winter.

You will see above that I have referenced finances a couple of times. How many people have their batteries drained by financial insecurity? I am not a political animal but I feel as though that is a truly important point. If we are not financially secure how on earth are we going to find battery power?

This is also of course true about safety. I am privileged to be physically safe, always. For those who are not, or who are not emotionally safe, again battery power will be drastically hard to come by.

Look after yourselves, look after each other, and learn about each other’s batteries. The more we understand one another, the more we can pull together.

Helen Calvert
The No Bullsh*t Coach
January 2025